Im gonna break down these walls i built around myself
navigations are the fours lines of lyrics.
they are profile, entries, tagboard and links navigations respectively (from the top).
|
Sunday, April 14, 2013, 1:00 AM
04/13/13
Well its been awhile. Awhile since I've last used this blog. And awhile since I've last had an actual conversation with you. Man. Sucks how it turned out like this. Well, it sucks for me. Honestly, I don't know what I can do anymore. This whole situation is really fucked up. Shouldn't have ended up this way. Honestly, I'm tired of getting the short end of the stick. I'm tired of trying for you when you don't even care to try for me. I'm tired of all this bullshit. You know, it was real. We were real. Hah, but look where we are now. All because of your "best friend". When I think back, back to when we actual had presence in each other's lives, I try to remember if there was anything I did wrong. Anything that I did to get us to where we are now. But I can't. I didn't do anything. What did I do wrong? Nothing. I set out all my intentions from the start. Made a genuine attempt to make you look my way. And when you finally do, guess what? Your so-called best friend decides FOR YOU that you have to choose between the two of us. What the fuck? What kind of best friend would do that? Just because you liked me and not him, and he had feelings for you while being your best friend, doesn't give him the right to decided your life for you. He even fucking threatened you to stay with him. Because if you didn't, he said he would start to blaze again, and knowing you, you didn't want that for him. What kind of best friend behavior is that? Honestly what the fuck? Learn how to treat a woman. Fucking pathetic man. Just because you were the "foundation" to his dreams and he wanted to marry you and shit, doesn't mean he can forcefully tie you down and not let you have feelings for yourself. This whole time I honestly think that he's had too much of an impact on you. MAKE YOUR OWN FUCKING DECISIONS. AND DON'T MAKE FUCKING DECISIONS THAT AREN'T YOURS IN THE FIRST PLACE. If you get what I mean. You didn't even have to choose between us. I didn't want that. He did. Not I. I was fine with us being together and you staying best friends with him. But obviously he was not fucking man enough to accept your feelings and was too fucking selfish to consider how you felt. How you REALLY felt. And not how he wanted you to feel. Fuck, now this is just turning into a rant. But I guess I just have to let things out. Been bottled up for way to long. Since being with me was painful for him, you said you were scared to hurt him. Doesn't that fucking mean that you wanted to be with me? Doesn't the fact that you don't want to hurt him by being with me while we're together mean that you're only stopping yourself because of him? As a best friend and as a man, shouldn't he be the one sacrificing for you? Yes, I fucked up in the past. BUT THAT IS THE PAST. I've already made up for that, and you yourself said that you have already forgiven me. I'm sure that you two got close because of me. I'm sure that he's been there for you for so long. I'm sure he's helped you. And you helped him. Im sure that you've spent hours talking to him about your problems. I'm sure he really is your best friend. But if he is, shouldn't he already know what you want? Shouldn't he respect your own personal decisions and get in the way of your happiness? So after thinking about it, you decided to choose "neither". Now I'm left here, looking like an idiot for trying to fight for what was right. What was the true. Us. Even though there shouldn't have been a battle in the first place. I'm left here. You're trying to erase me. And trying to throw everything that ever happened between us away. Every fucking thing. Don't give me that bullshit "I can't see us being together". because we were together. We already had something. It was mutual. But he came along and decided to fuck everything up. Honestly, I know this sounds wrong for me to say, but.. I didn't do anything wrong. And I think its because of that that this hurts even more than it should. I'm fucking innocent. I gave you everything. All of me. And when doubts came where you thought you just part of a "list" of girls, that was just a load of bullshit. Because I regarded no one in the same sense as I saw you. And you know that. Intentions were pure, and sure we got caught up in that "young love" scenario, but that's only natural. I gave you my heart, and when you finally gave me yours, he fucked it up. I don't know a lot of people that would have gone through the shit I went through for you. The shit I did for you. The shit I did with you. I KNOW I'VE BEEN SAYING HONESTLY A LOT, BUT HONESTLY, we should have happened. HONESTLY, we did happen. But now what? What am I supposed to do? Do I just move on? Do I just forget about everything? What do I do.
|
Vanity isn't a sin, a little narcissm wouldn't hurt.
Your profile here for the world to see
|
A
madeleine
teodoro
B
jeric
iglesias
C
vanessa
licerio
D
jeffrey
gache
+ Afterthoughts.
+ Six(tyNine)th
+ Be straight up with me please. I know I am probabl...
+ God knows.
+ im officially missing you.
+ SSDD
+ K3..
+ I guess I'm just invisible to you. You don't even ...
+ We're opposites. Different in many ways. I know th...
+ What is this feeling? It's like I can be who I am ...
+ January 2010
+ February 2010
+ March 2010
+ April 2010
+ July 2012
+ April 2013
An accidentality production
Inspiration from DancingSheep & BONBON:D
|
|